Something Overdue...

Mark 4:16-17 (ASV)
And these in like manner are they that are sown upon the rocky places, who, when they have heard the word, straightway receive it with joy;
and they have no root in themselves, but endure for a while; then, when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, straightway they stumble.

I’ve eaten more humble pie than I’ve ever eaten in my life, and I need to apologize to you.

My first year at RHEMA Bible Training Center was a radical time of transformation and building of my faith, and what I’ve learned through my awesome instructors will stay with me for the rest of my life. I sit and wait for second year with great expectation of the in-depth things I will learn with the focus of pastoral ministry!

But why the apology? Through this media, I tried to convey what was happening out here in Oklahoma and what God was teaching me. However somewhere early on, the devil got a hold of me and blinded me to how I was conveying my messages. Without realizing, I hurt many people close to me, and was in strife even with family members for many months without even knowing why. My thought process was, “Why are we divided over this theology? This is clearly what the Bible says!” So because of the blinders on my eyes, and because of my spiritual immaturity, I became more aggressive in my messages and started attacking (sometimes knowingly, sometimes unknowingly) people who “opposed” what I was saying.

How ridiculous! Looking back on it now, what I was saying was right, but how I was saying it, and when (timing) and why (motives) I said it was completely off base. In fact, some of what I said came completely from my flesh, said in a torrent of emotions, and not after patient prayer and consideration. I was trying to be the one who convicts, instead of letting the Word of God do that through His loving and patient work with each of us.

Thank God, much of the damage I did has been reconciled, and the Lord has worked in my heart to make me realize just how foolish you can look when making hasty and emotional decisions.

Now why bring up the passage above? Because that described me during the first few months here at school. I received all the teaching with great gladness and wanted to share it with everybody. But when I saw “persecution” arise because of it, I became overly emotional and put that emotion in my writings and responses to those who challenged me. So, “Straightway, I stumbled…”

I’m sorry, my dear friends and family. I’ve done a terrible job of portraying the great and balanced teaching I’ve received here. Through my flesh and emotions, I became the very thing I hate – that is, an immature, outspoken Christian that gives honest, balanced, Word-living Christians a bad name.

So I’m making a decision. You may notice that most of the history of this blog has been taken off. The reason for that is because I’m going to edit each post to take the emotion out of it and put the balanced Word of God in it, then re-post it. This will allow the Lord to speak to both of us; me as I edit my mistakes and remember where I came from and how much I’ve grown since then, and you through the Word that is in the refreshed and encouraging message. Rest assured, if the message does not encourage (or challenge and encourage), it will not be posted until it fits that criteria!

I’m looking forward to seeing you all very soon! Tina and I are making a trip to PA in August, at which time I will be all the more excited to embrace you all, and we can mutually edify each other!

Keep your eyes open! As the Lord told me at the end of this first year of school, “People after their first year at RHEMA think they know everything. But after their second year they realize they know nothing!” So God intends to do great things here – it’s amazing what humble pie can do! Amen?

I love you all, and hope very soon to see you!!

-Brad